I have met with countless families who have had to deal with the devastating loss of a loved one because of suicide. Although I have not experienced loss in this way, I know that it is one of the most devastating ways to lose someone. The pain, guilt, and confusion that it leaves behind can haunt family members for a lifetime. Those left behind are overwhelmed with the burden of wondering if they missed signs or could have stopped the act from occurring altogether. They often carry this guilt with them each and every day, wondering if their loved one is safe, and more importantly, if they are in heaven.
So many of us were taught that anyone who takes their own life is automatically banished from heaven, never being allowed in. After thousands of readings, I have come to a much different conclusion. It doesn’t matter who the person was; how they planned and carried out the act; how angry they were; or how “messed up” they were. They are always taken directly to heaven. Multitudes of angels surround these burdened souls as they begin to act upon their fateful decision. The angels know that these troubled souls need love the most. They wait patiently to take them directly to heaven’s gates, where they will teach them the error of their ways, and fill them up with love and light. I like to call it “angel school,” as I see it as a time for healing and learning. They are shown alternatives to the decisions they made, allowing them to see how things “could’ve been.” This is not done for any sort of punishment; rather to prepare them for their next journey here on earth. Every reading is different, and the time spent at this angel school varies from person to person. I don’t know why times vary, only that they do.
The following is about a young woman who was affected by suicide. It is only with her permission that I share her story.
I received a call from a close and dear friend one afternoon. I was scheduled to see her for a personal reading that evening. Nikki’s voice was shaking and I could tell that something was wrong. When I asked her what was going on, she proceeded to tell me that her brother-in-law had killed himself that very morning. I was absolutely shocked and lost for words as I had known her sister and her brother-in-law for approximately a year. Nikki went on to tell me a horrifying story, of how Michael had walked out of their front door, walked only a few steps, and had hung himself from the tree that stood right in front of their house. He had decided to end his life at seven-thirty in the morning, the same time that everyone from his neighborhood usually left for work and also the time when all of the children made their way to school. It wasn’t a stretch to think that Michael was, indeed, trying to make a statement. His own stepson was asleep in the house and was one of the children that was usually up and out the door for school by then. Not this day. This day would be different than any other.
After hearing the devastating news, Nikki asked if I would meet with Michael’s wife and her family for a reading that very night. She felt it might help bring comfort to her sister and family, to know that Michael was alright. I agreed, and headed out to their home later that evening. When I arrived at Kimberly’s home, I passed the tree where Michael had ended his life. Instead of feeling sorrow, anguish and pain, I felt such love and peace. I saw fairies and angels dancing around the tree. They were shifting the energy around the tree back to a space of love and light. There were so many of them! The fairies were holding hands and dancing in circles around the tree, and the angels stood right behind them singing beautiful music. It was an amazing site to see and I knew that all of Kimberly’s helpers had come to her aid.
I was greeted by Kimberly and her family. There was such sadness and they were still in shock and confused. I sat down, gave my condolences, and quickly got settled in. I told everyone that we would be attempting to connect with Michael and any of his guides and angels, in hopes of finding out that he was okay. I said a prayer, asking for all of their beings of light to come in, and quickly connected with Michael’s angels and guides. They told me that Michael had done this act to cause harm, and that they were working with him to help him see the error of his ways. I was told that he would be in “angel school” for seven days, the place where souls, like Michael, are often shown alternatives to decisions they have made, allowing them to see how things could have turned out differently. As the reading continued, more of Kimberly’s family came through from heaven, letting her know that everything was going to be okay. The angels came through with messages of love and protection. They had been there all along. Kimberly told me that she knew the angels had intervened that morning. You see, as Michael was hanging from that tree, not one person drove down the lane as usual. Kimberly and Michael’s house was the first on the lane, so everyone had to pass it to get out to the main road. It was a weekday and people were generally going by to go to work or school. Not that day. No one drove by. Kimberly’s son, Robert, who wakes up at the same time for school every day, didn’t even wake up that morning. He lay sleeping even as sirens from the ambulance and police cars came roaring down the lane. As Kimberly told her story, we all knew that the angels had stepped in and protected everyone else on the lane from seeing this horrific site.
I told Kimberly that I saw a multitude of angels standing underneath Michael as he was preparing to take his life. They were waiting, patiently, to take him in their arms. I saw Archangel Michael there and told her that he had spared Michael any pain or trauma. Kimberly breathed a sigh of relief as a tear rolled down her cheek. “Thank God he didn’t suffer,” she said. I continued, and told Kimberly that she would receive a sign from her husband in seven days, in the form of a feather. That would be his sign that he was finished with angel school. I didn’t know where she would find the feather; just that this feather would be her sign from Michael, that he was okay. Loved ones often come through with “signs,” letting their loved ones know that they are okay. Kimberly’s sign was going to be a feather. I went on to tell Kimberly that her son, Robert, who has the gift of seeing Spirit, would see Michael after this seven-day period, and would know that Michael alright. I have to admit, when I receive how loved ones are going to come through with signs, I always tell them they had better deliver! We ended the reading a few minutes later. Kimberly and her family appeared calmer, knowing that Michael was in the angel’s care. We hugged and cried as we said our goodbyes.
I received a message from Kim exactly seven days later. She proceeded to tell me that she had received her sign. She had been cleaning out a closet that day and had come across a shoebox full of old photographs. As she sorted through the photographs and pictures, reminiscing about her life with Michael, she came across a large feather laying in-between two of them. She was amazed and shocked, and instantly knew that Michael was okay. Kim went on to tell me that her little boy had received his sign as well. When Robert got home from school that day, he told his mother that he had seen Michael. While Robert was sitting at his desk, Michael and Robert’s grandpa appeared to him, standing in front of the room. (Robert’s grandpa visited him often so this was nothing new to him). Robert continued to tell his mother that they were acting silly and making faces, and that he had to keep from laughing for fear of getting in trouble with his teacher. When Kimberly heard her son’s story, she quickly felt a peace and calm come over her. She had always know that her father was watching over Robert. Now she knew that Michael was as well. She knew that Michael was in heaven, and that he was finally happy.
Kimberly was the one who found her husband. She has struggled with that vision, but with the angels help, has allowed herself to heal and let it go. She has come to terms that there is nothing she could have done to change her husband’s destiny. He made his decision, and he carried it out. He was on his own journey, and decided to end his early. Kimberly realizes that she may never know why Michael did what he did, but she does know that Michael is safe and sound with the angels in heaven, and that he will continue to watch over her and her son.
If you have ever lost a loved one due to suicide, I am so very sorry. Please know that your loved one was surrounded by angels and was not alone. Your loved one was taken directly to heaven, where they were loved and supported by all of their angels. Please let go of any guilt and know that there was absolutely nothing you could’ve done to stop them from completing this act. They were on their own journey, and unfortunately, decided to end it early. The angels love them, will take care of them, and will never leave them.
“Thank you, angels, for taking care of our loved ones. Thank you for ensuring a quick and easy transition to heaven. Thank you for teaching them and loving them. Thank you for never leaving them.”